Flip-Flop Fury

Mickey (wearing his beloved flip-flops), Dawn and Grayson

Another story by Mickey Glasscock:

Ahhhhhh, does life get any better? Walking on the beach with loved ones during the evening hours of another glorious day in our Lord’s creation.

The sky and stars were hypnotic. Listening to the waves as they break on the sand and the smell of the salt air…. It’s as soothing as laying in the bed with the windows open as a child just after momma had tucked me in for a long night’s sleep…………….. Oopps, sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself.

Let’s start from the beginning.

I love the beach and I especially love the family beach vacations we’ve taken over the past several years in September.

During these trips, several in our group enjoy late evening beach strolls. It was during one of these strolls that something very strange occurred and a story that I would like to enlighten you with.

I would always wear an old pair of flip flops on these evening beach walks but on this particular night, for some odd reason, I chose to wear my beloved Sketchers flip-flops, (if I ever wear them out, I plan to bronze them).

Once on the beach, our journey begun; I took off my flips and carried one in each hand.

As we walked I ventured out in the surf a little farther than the others, I was enjoying the salt water running over my feet and the sand squashing twents my toes.

I got to admit I was really enjoying myself when all of a sudden I was hit by one of those rogue waves. All two and a half foot of it hit me like a tsunami, knocking one of my adored flip flops right out of my hand.

I saw my flop floating a few feet from me, knowing time was of the essence I made a mad dash for it but to no avail; the ocean gobbled up my flip like my little Sara with a slice of watermelon!!

I was stunned and in disarray as everyone gathered around me to see what had happened. I whined and moaned as I told my sad tale of how the cruel sea had eaten my beloved flop but sympathy wasn’t in the cards that night. The responses I got were, “is that all?” and “you needed new ones anyway”.

I got to admit the crowd was tough that night my friend.

My lady friend Dawny wasn’t helping either, giggling at my heartbreak, telling me they are only flip flops. Well it was hard but I continued our journey with Dawny by my side. As we walked my sadness quickly turned to anger, how could the ocean be so cruel and how could the people I loved, especially Dawny, be so unsympathetic.

These were my treasured flips! I couldn’t take it any more, I turned to the ocean and with a mighty heave I hurled my other flop into the waiting mouth of the sea.

After doing this I turned to Dawn and my eyes said to her “there, how do you like them apples sister”.

She simple looked at me, shook her head and said “that was pretty dumb but whatever”.

Women, they just don’t understand, I mean I felt a lot better after my heave into the sea.

Alas, this feeling was short lived; we had walked only about a hundred yards further up the beach when my daughter, Amber, came running back to me. “Daddy, daddy!!” she exclaimed “look what I found!!”

Lo and behold it was one of my flips!! It had washed ashore, my prayers were answered!! But wait, where was the other one!

Then it came crashing down on me what I had done, as I stood there holding the flop to my head, Amber asked me what was wrong.

Dawn quickly provided an explanation, “Your daddy, being the intelligent person that he is, threw the other flip flop into the ocean”.

Boy the look them two gave me. You could have bought me for a penny and still got change!

Dawn was of no help as I stood there in my agony and defeated state. She extended the encouraging words “why don’t you throw that one in too, sad sack”.

Well, I aimed to please so again I turned towards the ocean and with another mighty heave sent my treasured flop deep into the bowels of the hungry sea.

I turned back towards my female loved ones with victory in my eyes, well at least I thought it was victory, Dawn and Amber mistook it for insanity because Dawn said in a monotone voice, “well it’s happened, your Daddy has finally lost it”.

Like I said, us guys love our women but we’ll never understand them. I contemplated about this as we slowly began walking, Dawn rolling her eyes at me every now and again, Amber running ahead to join the others.

Dawn and I had probably walked another hundred yards or so when I heard the ones in front of us yell out in excitement.

We walked quickly to them to see what the matter was.

Unbelievable!!

There standing in front of me was Amber holding both of my beloved flops.

They glowed with ambience as she handed them to me.

She said with a smile, “Daddy it was amazing both of them were lying together in the surf, they must have washed up together”.

I was thrilled and astonished as I stood there looking at the sea soaked sandals. Finally, with eyes looking up and flops extended towards the sky, I exclaimed “how could this be?”

No one seemed to know until Dawn offered up her logical answer “The ocean probably couldn’t stand the smell”.

They all laughed and cackled at my expense.

Me, I was just glad to get my beloved flip flops back!  Which I still wear to this day much to the dismay of the one I call my Dawny.

Anita Here: Two and a half foot rogue wave indeed. Too funny! The pictures are all from last year’s trip. I’m looking forward to going back this year. I need more stories from Mickey.

The Coming Ice Age

There are two things drilled into us by the news media:

1) The earth is getting warmer

2)Americans are getting fatter

Something is wrong with those two items together.

I have learned in years past that fat is a good insulator, making humans better able to withstand cold.

Based on pure body size, I’m predicting we’re heading for an ice age.

It seems I’m more than ready.

Note: This post is supposed to be humorous for some of you folks who don’t “get it”.

Picture taken from my NC porch on March 2, 2009.